The terrible bombings at the Boston Marathon have made me wonder if some of the things I know from working as a social worker at an emergency room may help others who have not ever experienced or thought of what to do it in a similar situation. I decided to write some ideas that hopefully will help families if something of this nature happens in your area or near one of your loved ones.
If something like this happens, nothing will matter more than finding your loved ones. This is the main topic I will address.
This information will be divided in two parts: 1. What you can do to help your family prepare for a situation where safety is compromised and 2. What to do if you or your loved-one has been involved such a situation.
- How Can I Prepare-there isn't much we can do to prepare for something this unexpected but there ARE things that we can and should do that will help in any type of disaster.
a. Have face shots of every single member of your family. A family picture, your children’s school photo, it does not matter. One of the biggest problems during a chaotic situation is that no one can find each other. Have a copy of each picture in a water proof Ziploc bag at your house, one in your glove compartment in your car, and save those pictures on your cell phone. This will make a huge difference to emergency personnel or people who may have seen your family member, especially if that person is not able to speak because of trauma or injury.
b. Add lists of medical problems and medications to both those baggies and your phone. It is especially helpful in your phone because if someone such as me (a social worker) uses a cell to contact you, then you can just texts those to me.
c. Do not have an automatic lock on your cell phone. I know it is annoying when your silly little brother decides to pick up your phone and hacks your facebook account, but a locked phone means no way for anyone to contact you or your loved. Just don’t lock it and apologize to your friends for your little brother’s silly comments on facebook. I have met with patients who have been so confused after an accident that even though they wanted me to use their phone, they themselves did not remember their own passwords.
d. If you or your children have any type of important medical history that is needed for appropriate medical care, save a little bit and buy them one of these. I do not get any financial gain by mentioning this company on my blog, there are many other companies with all kinds of products and prices to choose from, but this is just one of them. In my opinion, anybody who does a lot of activities alone (running, biking, driving long distances) or someone who can't carry their ID in their pocket needs one of those anyway. The hardest people to identify are always those who had no place to put their ID on them. But that is another topic.
e. Anybody who has a cell phone (even grandparents who only use it to call one person or young children who only use it to call their mom or dad) should have 2 to 3 people saved under the name “ICE.” Mine are under “ICE 1” “ICE 2” and “ICE 3”. ICE means In Case of Emergency, that is the first place someone like me will look to find emergency contacts. It has been my experience that some phones actually have that label already in them, but I have never found someone who actually used it and put the information in. Make sure that your emergency contacts include at least someone who does not live with you and also someone who lives out of State. Those numbers won’t help if you were all in the same home and you were all injured.
f. Every SINGLE TIME you go to the doctor and they ask you if you want to have an emergency contact listed, take the time and do it. You may not need it today because you went to the doctor for your hurt finger, but cannot predict when that will be needed. You may be able to tell hospital personnel your name, but you may not have the strength to remember you family's number.
g. Teach your children how to stay calm if something like this happens. Teach them to follow authority’s instructions. Yes, “stranger danger” is important, but in case something like this happens and either you are injured or you are not around or even get separated, they need to know who to follow and get instructions from. Their teacher, find a police officer, a fireman, a member of the military, etc. But in all reality I think children should know what to do in any emergency. Because I grew up in a place with a lot of earthquakes and a lot of turmoil, and because my family and I are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (mormons) and they teach us to be prepared, we always had a plan for every situation. We practiced those plans during our family nights. Here are some links to the ways my church encourages us to prepare for many things:
Family Emergency Supplies
Earthquake Preparation
Making a Survival Kit
Emergency Preparedness
2. What Can I Do if It Happens-In the terrible event that someone you love is involved in such a disaster, here is some information.
a. Do not call that person. This will tie up phone lines which are needed for emergency medical responders, police, etc. What you need to do is text. Don’t ask that person to tell you everything. Ask them to text you a one word answer, such as “Are you OK? Just say yes or no, if you are contact us when you can.” This will allow them to focus on being safe (we do not know if they are still in danger or need their cell phone to be quiet) and they can focus on either getting the help they need (answering questions from doctors) or helping other people if they can.
b. Again, do not call that person. At the Boston Marathon all phone signals were taken down because the bombs may have been detonated by cell phone signal. If you keep trying to call that person and they can’t answer because of this but they are OK, you will cause yourself a lot of unneeded suffering.
c. Ask all of your friends and family to NOT try to contact that person. The last thing they need is 50 texts all at the same time and making it harder for them to answer you.
d. Use social media (such as Facebook) to contact that person and also to ask everyone to not contact them directly.
e. If you are near the site and you plan on going to the hospital where they could be at, make sure you bring their identifying pictures (as previously discussed).
f. Designate one person to do all the updates for everyone else. You will speak with them and in turn they will speak with everyone else who needs updates.
g. If you go the hospital, immediately text and post on social media sites a message asking everyone else NOT TO COME to the hospital. Or immediately have your contact person do that for you. Have your friends and family gather at someone’s home so they can all get updates from the contact person you designate to communicate with you. One or two of you can be there. No one else should be there. The more people that come to the hospital, the more likely you won’t get the attention you need to find out about your loved one. It has been interesting to see how family members who are under such stress don't talk to each other. A brother will get an update about a sister, and they forget to tell their parents who were near them and didn't hear it. It causes a lot of conflict between family and they usually get mad a staff for not telling everyone. That is not our responsibility. Also the more likely it is that the masses will have emotional outbursts and no one will receive any updates because we (hospital staff) will be busy trying to manage that. Also, if too many people are disruptive to medical personnel who are helping your loved one and most likely saving lives, then security will kick everyone out and the hospital will go on lock down. Yes, they can do that.
If you don’t believe some of the things I have mentioned, read this.
h. Once you find your loved one, remember to remain calm. Whether they are perfectly fine or injured, they have just been through possibly the most traumatic experience of their lives. Do not force anybody to try to talk about it unless they want to. That means don’t ask a lot of questions but allow someone to talk to you and just listen. Traumatic experiences record differently in the brain; they are not like an emotional experience, they are more than that. Their brain literally has created a physical reaction to memories of sounds, smells, and sights. As a result, the more that someone talks about it, the more the brain re-traumatizes itself because those feelings are felt again, and in turn those memories return. It is like a never ending cycle. The more that is repeated, the more that the experience begins to be a little different than it was originally. It is not because the person is now lying, it is because the traumatic experience is re-recording itself over and over.
The best thing you can do is be available to that person when they are ready. While they are not ready, help them be aware of the “here and now.” For example, help them describe the temperature they feel, the sounds they hear, the brightness of the lights in the room, etc. This helps people come out of that state of trauma for a while and it helps with the healing process.
These are some thoughts that I felt might help someone. I hope none of us ever have to be part of such a terrible thing, but it is something everyone should be prepared for.
