Time To Retire

Boys and girls, I have decided to retire my "dating jersey." I feel that dating is no longer fun. I used to love the nerves and excitement of getting prettied up before a date. Now it is just a chore. So since it is not longer something I enjoy, I have decided to stop doing it all together. Of course, I wouldn't want to go into retirement before leaving the world a better place! And since "those who can't do...teach," here is my wisdom from the last 12 years.

Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Dating

Waiver: These thoughts are all based on my own experiences and by continuing to read you are acknowledging that I will not be held responsible for any injuries or damage to property which these thoughts may cause (girls can be crazy!).

Advice for Girls 

1. Don't date a duffus. It is easy to fall in love with anyone, especially when they love you back.
2. If a guy likes you, he will get your number. If he likes you and he does not make the effort to get your number, is he the kind of guy you want to date anyway? Someone without initiative whom you will have to always tell what to do? Really though, if he likes you HE WILL get your number somehow.
3. When a guy gets your number, if he really likes you he will call you within 4 days. If he thinks you are cute and wants to get to know you, he'll call within 2 weeks. If he doesn't call within 2 weeks, get over it, he has found someone else.
4. Guys like to be babied and cared for but they don't like to be told what to do. Most of the time, they would rather fail at something than accomplish it when given advise which was not wanted. Let them do what they want and then be there when they need you after it.
5. If you kiss a guy who you are not dating, don't expect anything to ever come out of it so move on. To guys, kissing is the same as going on a date with someone you don't like is to us: it's a free event, and it can be fun, but that is about as much of that person as you'll ever want to see.

 (BONUS) Get over the fact that guys are not as emotional as girls. If your relationship is over, it is very likely he will have you replaced within a couple of weeks; a couple of months if it was a serious relationship.

Advice for Guys

1. Don't worry, if a girl really likes you, she will show you. Girls have this thing were they loose all rational thinking and all self-control if they like someone. If a girl is always showing up at places where you are, sends you random texts, is always extra smiley around you, offers you stuff (would you like a piece of gum? can I get you more Root beer?), gives you compliments (I loved your comment in church today!), then she likes you.
2. If a girl doesn't do the above mentioned (see #1), but is still flirting with you, she may think you are cute but you are not dating material, she just wants your attention and she wants other guys to see that you are giving her that attention.
3. Most girls don't consider hanging out a date. If you keep inviting her to hang out, she will get really frustrated (and sometimes angry) with you.   Then she'll start rejecting hanging out with you, but be aware, she has not rejected DATING you, she just wants you to put more effort into it. Ask her on a date, girls get all giddy when someone actually says "I would like to take you out on a date." Trust me on that one.
4. Do not ask for a girl's number and then give it to your buddy without her permission. I repeat DO NOT! She probably just spent all night trying to avoid him so that he wouldn't ask her for it and now you just ruined all her efforts. Not a manly thing to do.
5. I know plenty of guys who have married girls who at first wanted nothing to do with them. Even though they stuck around until the girl saw their charm, they weren't pushy. Pushy usually means "good bye." If she rejected you once, try to become her friend and try again later. But don't try to become her best friend, be around but not every moment of every day. Be a friend when you see her at a group gathering but don't stock her. Stocking as equals "good bye."

Well peeps, there you have it. Things I have learned over my dating career not just from personal experience but also from watching the dating world around me. I figured that since I started dating seriously when I was 17 years old, I have gone on dates with hundreds of guys and have been on over 1,000 dates (at least). Thanks to all those who put effort into sharing an experience with me.

 
Happy trails to you!

Havasupai: Before and After the Flood of 2008

2011 UPDATED DISCLAIMER: I have been told by several people who went to Havasupai in 2010 that the water in my pictures doesn't reflect its true color. In theirs it was as blue as before. I think this has to do with the fact that in 2010 we got there right after they had a mini flood so there was still stuff in the water. Please read on!

I decided to write a review on how Havasupai (a.k.a The Garden of Eden) has changed since the August of 2008 flood. It was one of the biggest floods they have ever had. The water rose up to 8 feet. All 400 members of the tribe had to be evacuated. All tourists were also evacuated and flown by helicopter to the top of the Grand Canyon.  You can imagine what that did to the tribe who's sole form of income is tourism.

2008 months before the flood

2008 during the flood

I was one of the lucky people who got to go to Havasupai before this great flood. I have so many memories of that place!!! Because of my wonderful past experiences I was a little hesitant to go back and see what damage had been caused to this beautiful place. In case you are curios, this is my review and comparison of the before and after.

1. THE HIKE IN: although the way to get to Havasupai is pretty much the same, it did seem to me that there was more gravel on the trails. This made the hike more difficult but not terribly. I found a couple of spots looked different. There was also a mini flood the week before we went.

2. TOWN: the town is pretty much the same. The same buildings, same houses, etc. Something that I liked is that they have a new little store which is one of the first houses when you get into town. So if you really feel you are dying by the time you reach town, you can go there. They also serve pot roast meals every day at dinner time (not that I ever ate there but it's an option). I also liked that there are more signs, or at least they seem to have made them more clear on how to get there.  They no longer charge you the environmental fee (which was only like $5 bucks anyway). People are as nice as always and the kids as as cute as ever. The new Dr. and RN in the clinic are super great and all buildings have extra great AC. And just so you know, the grocery store is not totally over-priced. I always recommend that you either buy fresh fruit in town or have some money for at least one meal. It saves you weight on what you carry in and it helps you not get completely sick of your carb/protein packed food.

2008

2010

2008

2010

2008

2010 This is a little bit of a different angle. Still the same.

2010 Better directions.

2010

3. HIKE TO THE FALLS: first major change: the river looks like there was a flood and Navajo Falls, totally gone. But!!! There are some new falls which are actually really fun and beautiful.  You can tell they have had to clean up a lot. There were lots of piles of dead trees but they are small and they do not get in the way of the beauty of the hike.

2008 Navajo Falls

2010 Navajo Falls from a distance

2010 New falls called Rock Falls from a distance.

4. HAVASU FALLS: these are the first major falls you come to right before you get to the camp ground. They have changed a lot. But at least they are still there! The area where the water begins to fall literary lost about 6 feet of height and the water now comes out on the right side only (right side when you're looking at it) and the area is a lot smaller.  The pool that used to be below it lost several yards of area and it is not as deep. Before you could swim up to the trees and it got deep pretty fast. Now you have to walk down to it quite a bit. But the locals have done a great job at putting sand bags to try to help it recover and they really have cleaned up debris.

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

2010 Still beautiful and fun.

5. THE CAMP GROUND: well, what can I say? It is completely different. the river used to split it in two almost evenly and there were more campgrounds to the left side (when hiking in). Now the river goes to the left and there are more campgrounds to the right. This is the area that looks the most like there was a flood. I can't even imagine what the locals have had to clean up!!! And they are still working on it!!!! There are lots of piles of trees that are getting burned, and there are lots of areas that needed a boardwalk or big log to get through. They have also build a couple of bridges to get to the left side trail to get to Mooney Falls. There are still lots of trees for those who want to tie a hammock and there is still vegetation. So it's not all bad. In all honesty, people who had never been there never even noticed. To spring of drinkable water (and no, we did not filter at all) looks different but it is still in the same place. It is a little harder to get to because you have to cross several arms of the stream to get to it but there are boards to walk on. There used to be a wood building in front of it... gone.

2008. That little stream is now the river.

2008

2008

2008. This river is now re-routed. See video.

2010. Old campsite from afar. You where the earth brakes a little, that is where the river is.

2010 New river path.

6. POTTIES: Honestly, the most improved thing is that now they do not have portasoooo much better. They have 3 large compost stations. They are pretty high end porta-potties that do not smell are pretty clean, give you enough room to not have to touch anything, always have enough TP,  you can change in them if you want, and they are not full of bugs. This made my trip so happy!

2008-definitely the best improvement

Yay for clean potties!

No more of these!

7. MOONEY FALLS: I think that this is the fall that has changed the least. It is maybe 1 or 2 feet lower than it used to be, but it really does look the same.  The way down has not changed at all.  It is the same chains you have to hold on to. The pool at the bottom does have sand bags but it is just a little smaller and definitely not as deep. The little water falls that are right after it also look pretty much the same. So much fun!

2008 Mooney Falls during the day

2010 Mooney falls

2008 Going down.

2010 Going down.

8. THE RIVER/TRAIL DOWN BELOW: the river has a new waterfall that seems to come from the gully. It is this cool rock that is actually quite beautiful. Also most of the river is not as deep so you can pretty much walk it almost all the way to Beaver Falls. I wouldn't recommend it though because it takes 3 times longer to get there. The trail is pretty much the same. You still find yourself completely surrounded by green. It is like being in a the jungle. The rope swing and the small water hole? I am not sure because I couldn't find it. The giant water hole where you could jump from really high? I am  also not sure.

2010 new waterfall

Before

After

Before

After

2008 Old rope swing (don't know if it's still there)

2008 Looking down at the big water hole.

2008 Jumping into the big water hole.

2010 New place to jump in.

9. BEAVER FALLS: On the way to these falls I was happy to see the famous Palm Tree. It is still there! To get to the falls, you still have to climb up the log with the ropes. That trail pretty much looks the same. The actual falls looked much the same to me but the areas surrounding them were a little different.The way to get down to the falls is different. There is an easy trail a little past the lower one, right before you get to the sign that says you are leaving the reservation. They did not seem as deep. I am not sure if there is still the under-water cave because I didn't check but the rock walls looked different enough that I didn't feel comfortable checking it out. Plus I was scared to go in them before anyway.

2010 The famous palm tree!

2008 ("after" pictures coming soon)

10. WAY TO THE COLORADO RIVER: honestly, I don't know if that changed at all because we didn't go that far. But since it was higher ground I'm guessing it is pretty much the same.

Final thoughts: In all reality, I was sad the first day I got there. Things seemed to be so different and it was sad to think that they will never be the same. Then I got over that, and I started enjoying the beauties of one of the most unusual places in the world. It is still beautiful, the water is still as blue as Gatorade, and the adventures are innumerable. I did notice that people that had not been there did not seem to mind the changes at all and their experience was as magical as my first one was.

So would I got back again???  

HECK YES!!!!

But since I always tell myself I'm an idiot for hiking out (especially when I get to the switchbacks), next time I'm getting a mule. Or maybe I'll take a little flight!

What I Believe About the Atonement

While chatting with a friend about his dating history, he mentioned that as he has gotten older, the length of his relationships has decreased.  Also, the length between his relationships has increased. This made me curious because mine have been the opposite: they have gotten longer and more often as I have gotten older.  We continued to talk and he said that there was a difficult time in his life when he made some mistakes and ever since his self-confidence has kind of gone down because he figures that good girls would want to date guys who haven't made such mistakes. Sometimes mistakes make us feel like we are not "good enough."

The truth is, which ever mistakes my friend was referring to is irrelevant. As we live our lives and get older we will make more mistakes, some big, some small. Either way, I am no stranger to the idea he was referring to.

I would like to share what has been my opinion regarding this, for as long as I can remember. There was a time when I did really have to ask myself if I truly believed it and I found out that I did: as far as people who have made any mistake, and when I say ANY I mean ANY, including things that would have made someone not worthy to enter the temple in the past, I have always figured that if someone is temple-worthy now, that means that that person is good enough for the Lord so that means that person is good enough for me. Even when people are still working on becoming closer to the Lord, at least they are on the right path, right?

I remember a visual one of my instructors used one time. He had 3 people standing in a line (now, please remember that this is only a way to exemplify a principle, not the principle itself). The front person and the last person were facing right. The middle person was facing left. The order they were in was the level of progression they were in, i.e. the Prophet is a lot more spiritual than I. The way they faced represented either facing the Lord or facing, well, you know who... (OK, Satan, I'll say it.) He said that some times we get discouraged because we think, gosh I am only at level three and wish I was on the number one spot because I want to be like the Prophet because he is so awesome and is such a good person. But how could I ever be as good of a person as the Prophet?

What my instructor explained is that in the end, what is going to matter is not which order we are in (or "level" of our progression) but the way we are facing. Even the Prophet, if he chooses to face the other way for the rest of his life will not receive all the blessings of exaltation, it does not matter which "level" he is in.  If we believe that the "level" matters, then why share the gospel with anyone? If it did matter then all the people who are just learning about the gospel would be way "behind" someone who has had the gospel in their lives their whole life. Aren't they promised the same blessings as anyone? Also, from the example, any of the three people, including the person in the middle who may have faced the left side for a long time, can turn to the right side through repentance and in the end will be OK.

Alpha and Omega by Greg Olsen

We all have been given different trials that sometimes knock us down lower and further back than we thought we could go. But as long as we have the desire to choose the right and look towards Him, we will be OK. Luckily, we are not the ones who have to make the judgment call because the Lord who is just and sees in our hearts will be able to judge us fairly. Sometimes I think there is so much unseen mercy in our lives ... one day, we will be able to recognize it.

And when it comes to being "good enough" even after making mistakes, we are good enough and others should be good enough for us because that is what the Atonement is for. We always say that we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and we are grateful for his Atonement. But to truly believe in the Atonement, we have to also believe that it is not just for "me" and that it applies to every single person. Including the girl I work with, my neighbor who is struggling right now, and the guy I date. So the question is, do I truly believe in the Atonement or not?

I do believe.