An Article About Choice Effect and Marriage

Honestly, I don't really like to write about maawege (at least not often) because there are a ton of other things in my mind that I would like to talk about, but my friend posted an article on facebook regarding this exact topic last night and people seemed to agree with it. When I read it, I was like "I wrote something about that like 2 years ago!!!!" So maybe my thoughts would have become famous like that article if I would have shared it with anyone.

So here it is. Just like a wrote it 2 years ago. What do you think?

I was speaking with one of my friends who is from South America. Our conversation went something like this:

"So, are you married yet?" I replied "No, I haven't found the right person yet," fully knowing that I have found several "right persons" but they just haven't chosen me. She said "I'm engaged," to which I said, like I always do "Congratulations! I am so excited for you." She then said without even realizing the sting of her question, "I just don't understand how you haven't been able to find someone, I mean, it is so much harder for me, at least you are surrounded by LDS guys who are available." Feeling a little defeated and not knowing what to say all I replied was "It's not as easy as it seems."

I'm sure many of us have had similar experiences where someone who lives outside of Utah just cannot believe how in this "easy to find an LDS guy world" we still haven't found one. I personally think that because we live in Utah, finding a guy to marry becomes more difficult. Here is the reason why: I think it is a lot harder for a guy to focus on choosing one person and sticking with them to build a relationship when around the corner there is another beautiful, nice, big haired LDS girl who is ready (and very willing) to present herself as a good option for marriage. As a matter of fact, a guy friend of mine confessed to me that he had a hard time dating anybody and this is how he explained his reasons why: "It's like when you go to a fancy restaurant. You take forever to choose what you want, and then they bring you your meal and it looks really great. But then you look at the table next to you and someone is eating something that looks even better and then you regret having made that decision."

Not that we should be considered food, but I totally get the point. Why settle when there's so much more to choose from? I think that is why it is so hard for a lot of guys to settle down. Am I right or am I wrong?

My Ex's

This is just going to be a few short thoughts.

Tonight I decided to find the rest of my ex's on facebook (most of them I am already friends with), to see how their lives have turned out. There was one specifically who I wanted to find but did not remember his last name. He was a skater who I thought was the coolest thing ever. We had some good times, especially because two of my friends dated his best friends. Those were the days!!! We were so young and happy! (not that I am not happy now, but it was different then).

After a few clicks here and there I was able to remember his last name and find this ex of mine. Not only did he have a facebook account but he also had a blog ... and of course I had to check it out. I wanted to find out a little more about his life now. In the blog, his wife stated "10 years... I can remember the first time that we each told each other that we loved the other after maybe a month of dating." I can remember around that time too. I can remember it because he broke up with me to date her, so I was still around. I had known her while we were dating too and we had done things with our group of friends. It is interesting how a large majority of guys I've dated have married the next girl they dated after me. But anyway, that is another story.  

Over all I was happy to see that he and most of the other guys that didn't really seem to have it together when we dated now seem to have accomplished a lot and have a nice life with a cute little family. I can only hope that maybe I made a little bit of a difference in their lives. It was good to see that I didn't date total weirdo's too, but honestly what they have accomplished I credit to their great wives who believed in them perhaps more than I could have believed in them.