Time To Retire

Boys and girls, I have decided to retire my "dating jersey." I feel that dating is no longer fun. I used to love the nerves and excitement of getting prettied up before a date. Now it is just a chore. So since it is not longer something I enjoy, I have decided to stop doing it all together. Of course, I wouldn't want to go into retirement before leaving the world a better place! And since "those who can't do...teach," here is my wisdom from the last 12 years.

Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Dating

Waiver: These thoughts are all based on my own experiences and by continuing to read you are acknowledging that I will not be held responsible for any injuries or damage to property which these thoughts may cause (girls can be crazy!).

Advice for Girls 

1. Don't date a duffus. It is easy to fall in love with anyone, especially when they love you back.
2. If a guy likes you, he will get your number. If he likes you and he does not make the effort to get your number, is he the kind of guy you want to date anyway? Someone without initiative whom you will have to always tell what to do? Really though, if he likes you HE WILL get your number somehow.
3. When a guy gets your number, if he really likes you he will call you within 4 days. If he thinks you are cute and wants to get to know you, he'll call within 2 weeks. If he doesn't call within 2 weeks, get over it, he has found someone else.
4. Guys like to be babied and cared for but they don't like to be told what to do. Most of the time, they would rather fail at something than accomplish it when given advise which was not wanted. Let them do what they want and then be there when they need you after it.
5. If you kiss a guy who you are not dating, don't expect anything to ever come out of it so move on. To guys, kissing is the same as going on a date with someone you don't like is to us: it's a free event, and it can be fun, but that is about as much of that person as you'll ever want to see.

 (BONUS) Get over the fact that guys are not as emotional as girls. If your relationship is over, it is very likely he will have you replaced within a couple of weeks; a couple of months if it was a serious relationship.

Advice for Guys

1. Don't worry, if a girl really likes you, she will show you. Girls have this thing were they loose all rational thinking and all self-control if they like someone. If a girl is always showing up at places where you are, sends you random texts, is always extra smiley around you, offers you stuff (would you like a piece of gum? can I get you more Root beer?), gives you compliments (I loved your comment in church today!), then she likes you.
2. If a girl doesn't do the above mentioned (see #1), but is still flirting with you, she may think you are cute but you are not dating material, she just wants your attention and she wants other guys to see that you are giving her that attention.
3. Most girls don't consider hanging out a date. If you keep inviting her to hang out, she will get really frustrated (and sometimes angry) with you.   Then she'll start rejecting hanging out with you, but be aware, she has not rejected DATING you, she just wants you to put more effort into it. Ask her on a date, girls get all giddy when someone actually says "I would like to take you out on a date." Trust me on that one.
4. Do not ask for a girl's number and then give it to your buddy without her permission. I repeat DO NOT! She probably just spent all night trying to avoid him so that he wouldn't ask her for it and now you just ruined all her efforts. Not a manly thing to do.
5. I know plenty of guys who have married girls who at first wanted nothing to do with them. Even though they stuck around until the girl saw their charm, they weren't pushy. Pushy usually means "good bye." If she rejected you once, try to become her friend and try again later. But don't try to become her best friend, be around but not every moment of every day. Be a friend when you see her at a group gathering but don't stock her. Stocking as equals "good bye."

Well peeps, there you have it. Things I have learned over my dating career not just from personal experience but also from watching the dating world around me. I figured that since I started dating seriously when I was 17 years old, I have gone on dates with hundreds of guys and have been on over 1,000 dates (at least). Thanks to all those who put effort into sharing an experience with me.

 
Happy trails to you!